Thursday, July 26, 2007

A NEW APPROACH TO SEPIA TONING

Inadvertently last night, I set in motion a piece of Engineering Testing of significant practical importance, namely the resistance of Digital Camera Memory Cards to a hostile environment way beyond the tolerances stated on their Specification Sheets.

Doodling away in my Studio, I made a large Espresso and settled down to do some work. I was organising my camera for the following day, and changed the Memory card for one which had a lot of spare capacity on it. A few minutes later, I went to put the old Memory Card away in one of those dinky little cases they come in, and it was nowhere to be found.

I hunted high and low for a few minutes, and simply couldn't find it. Since I hadn't moved from the seat in front of the computer, I failed to understand how I couldn't lay my hand on it, so, losing reason and logic, concluded that the outer limits of the Bermuda Triangle must now have reached Western Shropshire, and gave up.

As I drained the cup of coffee, you probably don’t need to be that clever to realise what was lying in the bottom of the cup.


As the most fundamental law of the Universe would have it, I was just about to transfer a few images I had taken that day onto the computer, so the card was the only place in the entire known universe where these pictures existed.

It had been there in 80-90 degrees for about 10 minutes, and looked very much the worse for wear. So, we’re now trying an experiment. It’s drying out, and tonight we’ll see, using a sample batch size of one, if these things have any degree of thermal resilience in them.

If you want a bet, a “No images on this Card” response is 10 to 1 On at the moment.

I will report back.

Tags:

,
,
,

Monday, July 23, 2007

DID ENGLAND'S SLOW OVER RATE LOSE THE MATCH?

What a good Test match it’s been. And how heartening to see a relatively new set of England bowlers coming together in such a great way. Sidebottom, Tremlett, Anderson and Panesar is not a list you’d expect to see playing a top class line up like India, and it’s only like that because of major bowling injuries for Harmison, Hoggart and Flintoff.

I'VE BORROWED THIS TERRIFIC SHOT OF RYAN SIDEBOTTOM FROM GETTY IMAGES


But, to a man, they all played terrific cricket, were not fazed by it all, and did a first class job all round. It will make the “first pick” bowlers sleep a little uneasily to watch, particularly if they can repeat the performance in the second Test which starts on Friday with an unchanged side.

England so nearly made it, but it’s worth some statistician poring over England’s over rate today. I got the distinct feeling all during the day that, with a little more captainly foresight, knowing the Weather forecast as he would have done, that they could have bowled a few more overs than they did. And who knows what that might have resulted in.

It’s easy to be critical, sitting watching a TV set, but the low over rate of modern test Cricket is one thing that does continually niggle. Usually, it ends up not mattering much, but today, I was left with a real feeling that the result of the match could have been decisively affected by this one issue.

Apart from that, from England’s point of view, it was a pretty good game, especially by their bowlers. Off now to Trent Bridge.

Tags:

,
,
,,

Sunday, July 22, 2007

GREAT NEWSPAPER PHOTOS - No 2


The theme again is Water.

Today’s “Times” had this lovely picture on the Front page today, and doesn’t it capture to perfection the simple essence of torrential rain on the city streets.

Taken in Westminster yesterday by Jack Hill, it is one of those all too few images which tells the whole story in one simple, uncomplicated view. We have a street, a woman with an umbrella, and more rain than you can throw a stick at. And that’s it.

There’s no detail in the picture – it’s almost an impressionist study. And it’s the fact that there is no detail which makes the picture work. I doubt if even the individual in the image would recognise themselves. As well as no detail, there’s almost no colour, with shades of grey turning it into almost into a monochrome study.

Except, of course, the little smudge of red in the background. And it’s this that makes the picture come alive.

The composition is excellent – the woman is walking at the edge of the buildings, to get away from the rain, and here she is positioned in the picture space right at one side to emphasise her position and give the feeling of keeping under the roofs if she can. The perspective leading your eye along the street is very strong.

It’s good that there’s only her in the picture, paring down the picture content, so you’re left in no doubt what the picture is about.The bottom part of the image is just tons of rain bouncing off the road, and this puts the whole thing into context. Almost half the picture is "out of focus" rain. Gene Kelly is NOT going to spring out of the shadows here and start singing. The mood is damp and the person wants to get home.

Great atmosphere and great picture.

Tags:

,,,

Saturday, July 21, 2007

FLOODS OF TEARS - SHREWSBURY

Today’s theme, rather unsurprisingly, and rather more depressingly, is Water.

Watching the Open Golf Championship at Carnoustie in North East Scotland and the Test Cricket at Lords, I was seduced by the TV images of people not carrying umbrellas, and not wearing waterproofs, sitting in shirtsleeves, drinking a glass of lager and enjoying the sport.

Here in Shropshire, I am seriously wondering what we’ve done to deserve this weather. I have this worrying thought that it’s actually our family’s fault. We bought a new Gazebo a few weeks ago, and ever since its erection, the rain has not stopped. I am seriously thinking of taking it down to see if it is the cause of the problems.

Yesterday, the heavens opened again and stayed open all day. It didn’t just rain, it poured. Our garden was awash and this morning we awoke to find there was no way out of our village. All the roads were closed, and the local brook had changed from a gentle stream into a seriously raging torrent. People whose gardens previously led beautifully and elegantly down to a babbling brook, found their houses and gardens under a couple of feet of dank, muddy water.

DIFFICULT TO READ UNTIL YOU'RE ON TOP OF THIS ONE!

Without seeing it in person, you don’t realise the damage that such an event can have. The water is relentless – it pushes walls over, knocks down fences, turns greenhouses and sheds over, and makes a ghastly mess of what has taken people years to build up.

Very, very sad.

I managed to find a way through the water into Shrewsbury this afternoon, and the river was pushing against the flood defence walls, with the riverside walks being more suited to ducks than humans. I took a few pictures of the mess, and here they are.

THE ENTRANCE TO A NEIGHBOUR'S HOUSE THIS AFTERNOON

THE ENTRANCE TO A SELECT DEVELOPMENT NEAR OUR VILLAGE!

THE ENTRANCE ROAD TO THE NEW HOUSES - THE SHOW HOUSE WAS RUMOURED TO HAVE BEEN SOLD LAST FRIDAY!

A LOCAL GREENHOUSE

THE POOR OWNER'S SHED ADOPTS A NEW ATTITUDE!



SHREWSBURY CYCLEWAY NEAR THE RIVER SEVERN

RIVERSIDE WALKWAY

BENCH FOR TWO


Tags:

,,,

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

SEVE BALLESTEROS - GENIUS GOLFER

SEVE BALLESTEROS IN FULL FLOW IN 1988 - A GREAT IMAGE BY DAVID CANNON


Severiano Ballesteros, thankfully from my viewpoint, announced his retirement from competitive Golf today, 30 years after he exploded onto the scene. Having watched most of the Greats from around 1960 onwards, there is no doubt in my mind he is the most exciting player I have ever seen. It has been a thread of real sorrow to watch him struggling and slipping down the rankings over the last ten years from the stratospheric heights he reached in the 80s.

A hugely emotional man, he wore his heart firmly on his sleeve which endeared him to so many fans, but no doubt on occasions may well have cost him tournaments, even Majors. But that mercurial nature, and brilliant smile were things that made you look out especially for him.

He was not a huge man, and therefore had to put his whole being into his wood and long iron shots, which he did with utter abandon and fearlessness. This often got him into untold trouble, and sometimes left him in parts of the golf course no-one could recall being visited before – car parks and the like.

But he had a miraculous short game – Gary Player, writing in today’s Telegraph says “… nobody was ever better than Seve when it came to the short game”. His feel for this crucial part of the game often verged on magical, and it often left his opponents fatally crestfallen when he recovered and beat them from a position where they thought he was “dead”.

My own recollection of him was watching, from a very honoured position at Royal Lytham in 1988, when he put together a remarkable last round of 65 to beat Nick Price. A colleague of mine had got hold of a Pass into the Clubhouse, and to be within feet of the great man, at a time when he was making sporting history, was an immense privilege. I have to admit I didn’t dare say a word to him at the time, fearing that breaking his concentration might lead to a short iron winging its way in my direction across the locker room to make his point. So, I just did a sort of intelligent Gorp at him, but even so, I’ll remember it for a long time. Heros, in the flesh, at 5 paces don’t happen too often.

He ran into back problems, and other issues, and really lost his game in the mid 90s, but only after winning 5 Majors, and over 60 European and US Tour Victories. In some ways however, astounding as these figures are, it was the way he did it all that made him stand out. Just read the praise from his fellow professionals. These guys are not much given to praising their peers, it’s not good for their egos, but, to a man, they all think he was at the very top of the tree.

His swashbuckling style, his blinding skills, his push into America, his startling form in the Ryder Cup – 20 points out of 37 matches – showing just how formidable an opponent he was head to head (he also won the World Match Play Championship 5 times), his fanatical desire to host the Ryder Cup in Spain, which he did, captaining and leading the team to a very emotional victory at Valderrama in 1997, all combine to make him utterly charismatic on the Golf course, and the sort of golfer many of today’s stars took as their role models.

All of which makes his gradual decline so sad to watch. I am sure I’m not alone in wishing he’d given up a while back. But, there you go.

If you never saw him in full flow in the 80s, you’ve missed something unique and thrilling. The glorious picture at the top, taken by David Cannon, says it all.

Tags:


,
,
,

,

Sunday, July 15, 2007

HALF TIME SCORE - AC 1, AC 0

Reading about the lives of other people is a passion of mine. This can take several forms - the Biography, where someone takes an outside view of a person’s life, ranging from a congenial to a nasty viewpoint, or the Autobiography where the individual writes (or is accorded the title of having written) his or her own life story.

Both of these have their plusses and minuses. The autobiography will contain information and opinion known only to the author. The potential price to be paid is objectivity. It takes a particular type of individual to avoid leaving out, or at least colouring in his/her favour, any event which does not do them justice, or about which they are not totally proud. The Autobiography is also usually written long after the event, often towards the end of the person’s life, and thus the power and possible distortion of hindsight can often loom large (knowingly or unknowingly) in the author’s mind, and hence on the page.

We all use “post event rationalisation” to so much of our lives that often the context and meaning of a particular event ends up completely different years and even decades later. We also view the myriad people with whom we come into contact in a general, summary form at the end, rather than the reality where there are times when we love them, and other times when we may feel very differently about them. The Autobiography usually smoothes these ups and downs out, and loses these important and often interesting fluctuations in the final text.

The Biography however, can include these issues with impunity, but only if they are known by the writer. Timing of these books is key – write them too early, and the stories are not finished, and write them too late, and all the people needed to corroborate and act as a “check and balance” in the search for truth or at least balance, are dead.

It is so difficult with both forms of writing to get the colour, the immediacy, the feeling “on the day” about the subject’s real thoughts and motives, attitudes and intentions. However, for the people whose lives are worthy of such treatment (and there aren’t that many), the medium where this can all become so much clearer is The Diary.

As a written form, The Diary is the most exciting, immediate and informative way of living someone else’s life. It takes a very special individual to keep up the task of Diary keeping, particularly when events playing around them are testing them mentally and physically to their limits. So we end up with all too few examples where interesting people create such a fascinating view of what’s going on. We must be grateful therefore to the few who do manage it.

I have read most of the “Premier Division” diaries, particularly the political ones of the last Century, and they have probably give me more combined pleasure that any other form of book. In the field of politics, the Diaries of Harold Nicholson, “Chips” Channon, Duff Cooper, Harold Macmillan, Richard Crossman, Tony Benn, Edwina Currie, Gyles Brandreth, Woodrow Wyatt, Paddy Ashdown, Piers Morgan (believe it or not, Yes!) have all given me great pleasure, but my personal favourite, winning “easily”, to take up a racing metaphor, out of all of these “contestants” is the late, lamented Alan Clark MP.

Three volumes of his diaries have been published, covering the period from his beginning in politics in 1972, up to his too, too early death in 1999. They are a truly amazing read. They exude the “stuff” of politics, day by day showing the twists and turns of an ambitious, clever, exciting man who wanted power, and achieved partial success, but was left frustratingly unsatisfied at the end. A man whose views and attitudes on life were not to everyone’s taste – his declared penchant for Naziism and his often declared adoration of Hitler, galloping snobbery, a hugely low boredom threshold and tolerance of what he saw as mediocrity, his ever present eye for the ladies which must have driven his wife to reach for the meat cleaver on many occasions, and so on.

ALAN CLARK, FACING HIS DESK AND THE PROSPECT OF A DAY'S FILING. A FEW SECONDS LATER, THE DESK WAS CLEAR


But, and it’s a bloody big But, you cannot fail to wish you’d met him and been part of his entourage, or a friend. He was a hugely exciting and interesting man. He wrote with great skill, being a considerable Military Historian. He knew an awful lot – his father was Kenneth Clark, the Art Historian, and creator of “Civilisation”. He lived in a fantastic Norman castle in Kent which looked just as you’d imagine Ernst Blofeld’s English hideaway would be.

He was searingly, cringingly honest, even when being so left him at the mercy of the reader’s views. He conducted, in full view of the reader (and presumably, his wife!), a long affair with the wife, and two daughters, of a judge, and this thread runs unsuppressed in the book through the 14 years of its tangled life. You read about his lifelong passion for old, very high quality Motor cars, his addiction to Backgammon, his unnervingly kinky feelings for Margaret Thatcher, his hatred of the Plymouth Constituency for which he was MP, his huge love of his children, his frequent vertiginous financial state, his often all-consuming hypochondria, and his complex and totally individual views on most things in life (almost National Front Right Wing politics vs vegetarian, Animal Welfare Vigilante).

His use of language and the structure of his writing is excellent, often leaving you with an incredulous last word or sentence which you would reread and savour again and again.

As an example, talking after the Falklands war, when his own Nationalist views came out with all guns blazing, he got into discussion with some of the Political Wets, about making sure the Argentine Prisoners were properly fed on the recaptured islands – his parting shot diarising the discussion was “There was some long and disparate conversation about what the Argentine prisoners were going to eat. I suggested that they should eat each other.”

His view on Sir Robert Armstrong, then Secretary to the Cabinet, and probably the most important Civil Service Job in the Country, when the subject came up in an MP group discussion – “….Carol Mather chimed in with support, and said he too thought Armstrong was ‘creepy’.

‘It is my personal belief,’ I said, ‘that he is a full Colonel in the KGB.’

Nobody demurred.”

If I was to choose Half a dozen people from History to populate an imaginary eclectic Dinner Party Table, he would be among the very first ones, if not the first, I would choose.

His Military books, which include a terrific denunciation of the Army Generals’ (mis-) management of the First World War (later turned into the hit musical “Oh, What a lovely War”), a comprehensive history of the Tory party, and an excellent book called 'Barbarossa' about the disastrous German attack on Russia in the Second World War, are something to be proud of. But he will live for a long time off the back of the Diaries – they are something apart, and should be greatly cherished.

Coincidentally, I started to reread them a week or so ago, just when Alistair Campbell’s Diaries were released. So, immediately the possibility of comparisons came to mind. Now I think Campbell is one of the most extraordinary men of the last political decade, and am sometimes inclined to share Rory Bremner’s view that for much of the time Campbell was the man running the country. So one can’t help look forward with huge anticipation to the idea of such a man keeping a detailed diary of the times, and publishing it.

But (another bloody big But), one’s eagerness is clouded by the thought that Campbell has had the final say on what is included, with a declared intent to avoid rocking Tony Blair’s boat. Diaries don’t work like this – they need to be ruthless, honest and extremely "unselective" on the part of the writer. The reason we want to read them is to find out exactly what he thought of Blair, not to have this skirted over. If he's not brave enough to allow this to happen, he should wait before publishing them.

ANOTHER OF 'MATT'S' HUGELY PIN SHARP CARTOONS - IS THERE A BETTER CARTOONIST IN THIS COUNTRY?

Usually, a forthright, independent editor is a must – one who can stand up to the writer and say “Bollocks, I think that bit should be in, and I’m sorry if it embarrasses you, but my Word goes here.” The depressing thought here is that they have been published way too soon, and too much excising of the bits that make most diaries actually worth reading will have taken place. We shall see.

I will refrain absolutely, at the moment, from commenting further on this because, as I write, I haven’t yet read them – I’ve read a few reviews, and the forecast from these isn’t good. But the only way to reach a conclusion is very simple – read the Book.

So, today’s trip to Waterstones saw me returning with The Tome, secured at the rather odd discount of £5.01 (Don’t ask, the girl on the till didn’t understand either), and I’ve got my literary cossie on and am just about to dive into the 757 page long pool.

I may be some time.

Tags:

,
,
,,

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

WORLD'S BEST PHOTOGRAPHERS No.3 - LOUIS KLEMANTASKI

Taking Sports Photographs is very deceptive. Like watching someone skilled plastering a wall, a master makes it look absurdly simple, until you try it, and then you find that you make a complete fool of yourself. I have a raft of books of Sports pictures at home, covering many different activities, and, having personally dabbled almost completely without success in it, I can only admire the skills, determination and doggedness of those who excel at it.

Look at the pictures from agencies like Allsport, now Getty Images, and the power of their best images jumps off the page, and the emotions, which are what sport is all about, leap out with them. Most of these images were taken after 1970, when camera and film technology progressed by leaps and bounds with the introduction of Autofocus and Motordrives on cameras, long lenses, fast films and the like all giving a huge helping hand to the snapper. Today, the digital revolution has engulfed all sports photographers, making the task easier than ever, or more accurately a little less hard.

But go back in time to the 1930s, 40s and 50s, where none of this technology existed, and the intrepid cameraman lived solely on his own skills with a very primitive piece of equipment to get his shot. Some of the most evocative sports pictures from that era were of Motor Racing, and you don’t go far in talking about that time without the name of Louis Klemantaski appearing. He was the doyen of motor racing photographers, and a look at some of his images tells you why in an instant.

In the same way that Robert Capa, the great War Photographer, said “If your pictures aren’t good enough, you’re not close enough”, Klemantaski followed the same dictum. He stood in what can only be described as suicidal positions, inches from the cars, with no protection whatsoever, and guess what, his pictures are exciting, powerful and technically brilliant.

Klemantaski was born in Manchuria, but educated in England. He got infected with the Motor Racing bug at Brooklands, and ran the Junior Racing Drivers Club there. A short step later and he became a professional photographer, and went to as many meetings as money allowed, including trips to Italy for the Mille Miglia, where he got a lift round the course with several of the drivers.

His pictures combine technical excellence with a large dose of pictorialism. His lighting is quite often dramatic, with many pictures taken in the early morning, when practice often took place. His sense of movement, personality and speed are exceptional, and the power and drama of the sport (and it was a sport then) are key characteristics of his pictures.

The copyright of all these brilliant pictures is now vested in The Klemantaski Collection and if you want to see more or buy any of his images, click on
www.klemcoll.com.



NORMAN WILSON - BROOKLANDS 1939 - LOOK AT THE LIGHTING! LOOK AT THE SAFETY EQUIPMENT!

GEORGE ABECASSIS POWERING UP PRESCOTT HILL CLIMB - 1939

BEAUTY AND THE BEASTS - EARLY MORNING FERRARIS AT ROUEN IN 1957

FANGIO IN A MERCEDES AT MONTE CARLO - 1956

I think this is a fabulous image - Light, composition, power, speed and perfect timing. I am looking at a signed original of this on my wall as I write this piece

MIKE HAWTHORN AT GOODWOOD IN A COOPER-BRISTOL IN 1952

FANGIO IN A W196 MERCEDES AT REIMS IN 1954 - Try a risk assessment on that one!



KLEMANTASKI THOUGHT THIS HIS BEST IMAGE - FANGIO AT ROUEN IN 1957 - IT SAYS IT ALL!


Tags:

,
,

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

WHY I LOVE THE PRINCESS ROYAL

A lovely snippet in the Telegraph today, where Alistair Campbell’s diaries get a mixed reception.

Campbell says that while Mr Blair was discreet about his meetings with the royals, his wife was less so.

He recalls that Mrs Blair “had asked the Princess Royal to call her Cherie when the Princess had addressed her as Mrs Blair. “I’d rather not, Mrs Blair”, said Anne”, Campbell wrote.

Now, that’s what diaries are there for. Excellent.

Tags:

,
,
,,

COLIN MONTGOMERIE - THE COMEBACK KID!

Colin Montgomerie, apart from being one of the greatest golfers in the world over the last 15 years or so, is also one of the most “human” sportsmen you will come across. You will never need the word “taciturn” when you talk about him, he is either “sweetness and light” or he looks, in someone else’s delightful phrase, as if he has just swallowed a Bumble Bee – a man who wears his heart very much on his sleeve. You live his round, good or bad, with him.

Everything you read about him has to make the obligatory point that he is the Best Golfer in the World Never to have won one of the four Major Tournaments. But, in spite of that millstone, he is simply one of the most formidable players you’ll ever see. His Ryder Cup record is absolutely outstanding. But the Major Win must drive him mad - you really feel for the man when you watch his error right at the end of the 2006 US Open, when he had the Tournament in his grasp, and threw it away at the last hole. This must almost have started to convince even him that, at 44, it’s never going to happen.

But, playing last weekend, at the K Club in Ireland, scene of last Year’s triumphant Ryder Cup, he beat a good class field to win the European Open, so here we go again. Although it had some luck in it at the end, a last round 65 is a last round 65, and when that score wins a Tournament by one stroke, it means that an awful lot of guts and character strengthening has gone into the day to achieve it.

Like Ballesteros and John Daly, Montgomerie, whether in light or dark mood, is one of the very few golfers you seek out to watch in any tournament. The bland, corporate safeness of so many of the current players is not for him, and I have always found him an exceptional, magnetic player to watch, whether he is thrilling you or frustrating you.

To win any major sporting event at the age of 44 is a pretty impressive achievement, and it gave me an utter twang of personal pleasure to see it happen last week-end.

This year's Open, at Carnoustie, is only a couple of weeks away, and we can only hope. He could end up in his career like Stirling Moss, who never won the World Championship, but is still thought of as a better driver than most of the World Champions who followed him.

It would certainly mean that few people would choose him as The Best Golfer in the World Ever, but, after the dust settled in years to come, he would find himself ahead of most of the players who had in their time lifted one of the Major Tournament Cups exultantly aloft on a Sunday afternoon. He has won 40 Tournaments in his time, and been second in Five Majors. You run out of fingers very quickly when you try to list those players who’ve bettered that record.

So let’s forget about Lewis Hamilton for a couple of weeks, and get rooting for Colin. If Golf in this country has a National Treasure, it’s Monty.
Tags:

,
,
,

Sunday, July 08, 2007

GENESIS

There are three Rock bands in the World I would pay any money to see, and one of them, Genesis, did the honours in Manchester last night. Along with around 70,000 other fans, the pre-1996 version of the Band - Phil Collins, Tony Banks and Mike Rutherford, with Daryl Stuermer and Chester Thompson in support, kept us all enthralled for an uninterrupted 2½ hours on a lovely rainless night at Old Trafford.

40 years on from their founding, they have a tremendous following among the oldies whose Early Onset Alzheimer’s has not yet clouded their memory of what Progressive rock was about. They have always been in the absolute forefront in putting on a unique stageshow, and last night’s set was no exception. Incorporating 9 million LCD lights (no, I didn’t count them) it looked like a huge 20 metre high seashell where videos, cartoons, live audience pictures and anything else the set designer wanted was projected, as well as fireworks at the end.
The band, since Peter Gabriel's departure, can not be accused of pushing themselves forward sartorially, and last night, they were strangely underlit, as well as wearing sombre, dark clothing. Phil Collins seemed to have been taken over by the Ron Dennis meets BladeRunner meets Wacky trainee Funeral Director look in his choice of a short close fitting Black Designer Bin Liner jacket. Anyway, it all made you concentrate on the set, which was modern, different, and dazzlingly effective.





Until they started playing. And this is something they do in a stadium setting supremely well. Having not released any real new material since We Can’t Dance in 1991, the whole set was well suited to the Old Groaners who made up the audience. Phil Collins’s introduction set the tone – “Any Old People out there, besides Us?”.

Off they went with excerpts ranging from the early Seventies, through the Eighties, and a couple of short songs off their last Album. Hardly anything was announced – you were supposed to know what they were. And the number of people in the adoring audience who were word perfect through all the songs showed that they were right.

This author’s favourite piece of theirs “In the Cage”, a 10 minute long epic with a typical raft of key changes, tempo moves, time signatures, and emotional ups and downs was played to perfection. I challenge anyone not to resist a long “Wow” as Collins completes the plaintive and moving “Afterglow” ending. Sheer Magic, and, outside the family and friends, the best 10 minutes of my 2007 to date.

As an already confirmed believer, there was never going to be any real contest in my mind about the music. I saw them on their two most recent tours firstly in 1988, standing on Wembley’s hallowed turf, and then sitting on a grassy knoll (no gun) in Roundhay Park in Leeds in 1993, and each time, they put on a totally memorable show. The only slight thought before last night was whether 14 years on, and several personnel changes, they could still get it together with the original (well, 1975 anyway) members . They were clearly older, with Mike Rutherfood looking quite gaunt and strangely reticent, and Tony Banks, usually sitting at his keyboards totally oblivious to the audience, actually seen to sing along with some of the songs.


But Phil Collins led them all in putting on a bravura performance. Quite why critics look down rather disparagingly on his career is a bit of a mystery to me. It takes something very special to hold an audience of 70,000 people in his hand, and that’s what he did last night.

Their songs are quirky, ranging from Audience Participation meets SATS Year 9 Testing in a song about the “Domino Principle”, to a creepy crawly fantasy about the other things that live in your house besides People. But that’s what makes them different. Only they could produce lyrics like they do. They are accused of being pretentious, but for a group that sold out 150,000 tickets for their two UK shows in less than 90 minutes, that’s an awful lot of people who do not agree. Anyway, what do the critics know?
So, a great, great night.

Roll on 2021 for Genesis – The Zimmer Frame Tour.

Tags: ,
,
,


Saturday, June 23, 2007

YOU CAN'T PLEASE ALL OF THE PEOPLE ....

Anyone with the slightest interest in Motor racing today, cannot but have noticed the meteoric rise to almost super-stardom, in only a few weeks, of Lewis Hamilton. Having been nurtured and mentored by Ron Dennis, the boss of McClaren, he slid smoothly into the absolute top echelon of the sport, having very precociously won Two Grand Prixs after starting in Formula 1 only in March this year. It took everyone else ages longer to get to the same position - Schumacher, for instance, took over two years, not two months, to get two wins under his belt.

And, apart from being a very fast racing driver, the guy seems to be disarmingly and unfailingly nice, he's totally fluent in "corporate speak" as if he's known the language for years, he's utterly polite, and seems to be the perfectly equipped individual for a sport which is heading into new countries, and even continents, at a rapid rate. Everyone seems to have a view that he has no faults - in a sport where image is so important, he is a Marketing Man's dream.

Except - he's not the only British Formula One driver on the scene, and a simple image taken at the marvellous Festival of Speed at Goodwood yesterday may well have identified at least one person who probably wishes he'd never heard Lewis Hamilton's name.

Seen on a very large pile of identical scale model Racing Cars for sale on a stall.


Tags:
,
,
,,

Friday, June 15, 2007

YOU'LL GET ME INTO HOT WATER

My wife went into Telford this morning, to meet my daughter and 1 year old grandson. They went into the only decent Coffee shop in the town centre for lunch, and, in order to feed the little one, asked the staff serving behind the counter, for a jug of hot water in which to heat up the Jar of Banana Custard and Anchovy they had taken for him.

“We can’t do that, madam, you’ll have to give it to me here behind the counter, and we’ll put it in the jug of hot water and heat it up for you.”

"But, I’m quite capable of heating up a bottle for a child, I’ve brought up two children, who are still alive, and am now on my third grandchild. I think I can be trusted.”

“Sorry, madam, we’re not allowed to. It’s Health and Safety” – the answer to everything in the whole UK world today.

There then ensued a gentle rantlet from my wife, which, as always, got absolutely nowhere, apart from a significant release of steam.

She then asked for her own order which included a Pot of Tea, which was filled from the same exploding steam machine used to fill the grandson’s jug which THEY had determined we were unfit to handle, and handed it to my wife. The temperature of the tea to which she was entrusted was probably around 211ºF, having cooled down ever so slightly from the superheated state it had been in some 5 seconds previously. Even when pressed to “Compare and Contrast” the two actions and attempt some form of rational explanation, the irony of it all passed completely over the staff’s head, as very nearly did the Pot of Tea.

A couple of minutes later, the assistant came over to the table with the Grandson's Jar of Food, which they had heated to a temperature where it was now glowing Cherry Red. They now needed a Jug of Cold Water to reduce the temperature of the jar from "Searing", down through "Jeez, that's still Bloody hot" and onto "Now, that's how it needs to be". The good news is that they were allowed to be trusted unsupervised on their own with the Jug of Cold water the Assistant brought to allow this quenching process to be implemented.

“Health and Safety” apparently explains it all.

And for a minute there, I thought there was a problem.

Tags:


,

TIPPING THE COW - JERSEY'S FIRST MEDAL

The Olympic bandwagon for 2012 gathers pace. The UK already has a new “edgy” logo, which nobody in the whole country yet owns up to liking, and which to me looks like the result of a Highland Terrier swallowing a large Swastika sign.


We can also see the spectre of additional “sports” appearing on the horizon, all vying for a 21st Century piece of the action. Skateboarding seems to be the latest one, for reasons that currently escape me. In my glorious ignorance, I would have thought this activity was limited to youths wearing their caps with the peak at 90º covering their left ears in the inner suburbs of a few western cities. I have no idea if it has yet caught on in, say, Morocco or Nigeria or the Rest of the World. Perhaps that’s the cunning plan for the UK to win something in 2012 – get a sport included where you’re the only country who is any good at it, or even knows of its existence. Curling? Scotland, anyone? Or, as Jeremy Hardy calls it – Housekeeping on Ice.

I was throwing out some old newspapers the other day, which set me thinking about all this. There was an article on the sport we’ve all missed here - Cow Tipping. Now I seem to have spent my Three score and a tiny bit years on this earth completely unaware even of the existence of this sport. The clue is in the name – the sport centres on how many people it needs to push a cow over, and somehow or other the League of Cruel Sports, and our Governmental Protectors have not yet seen fit to bring the cruelty of it to the public’s attention, and, presumably as a follow up to the Hunting Ban, push for legislation to ban it. It is therefore burgeoning, presumably more in the rural parts of the realm. Very odd.

The Times carried a very erudite article exposing the subject, showing by means of lots of Cos theta and Tan alpha hieroglyphics how much force pushing a cow over required. The maths seemed to indicate it needed around 3 people, but a flurry of letters in the newspaper threw doubt on the accuracy of the calculation, citing the possibility of a large Centre of Gravity variation dependent upon whether the cow’s udders were full or empty. Some cow-lover from Hawaii then wrote in to confirm that indeed it did need 3 people – “One person on one side of the cow, and two on the other. The lone person pushes very hard on his side, and waiting for the balancing response from the startled animal, the other two then push very hard on the other side to overbalance her.”

Note they don’t do it to a Bull. Apparently this approach “works like a charm”.

The last word on the subject came from a guy from Cambridge University, who apparently has calculated that a person of 12st 10lb would need to Drop kick the cow at around 12mph to get it on its side.

Perhaps the key comment in one of the letters is the claim that, in order to undertake this activity to maximum effect, “Sobriety is a hindrance” – 4 words which tell all, and which should suit the UK’s entrants perfectly if the attempts to promote it as an Olympic Sport are successful. At least, if it does creep in, we could also have a replacement logo, showing a Cow Rampant, with the 5 Olympic Rings tastefully entwined around and attached to its Nose.

It can’t be worse than Kaiser McTavish, the Nazi Highland Terrier.





Tags:
,
,
,

Monday, June 11, 2007

GOLF - THE LONG GAME

In a list of “Greatest Ads of All Time”, this one gets somewhere in my Top 10. Remember it?

Press centre arrow to start

As part of a long running sequence of the best car Ads EVER, it sits right on top of the pile.

And here’s another from the same camp.



Today, the ear-ring would be worn by a bloke.

An advert can create an impression, a feeling and a perception about a product, a desire to try it out. Be it a chocolate bar or a car, the advert gets you through the door. You buy the bar of Chocolate, you try it, and if you like it, you’re hooked. If you spit it out, no amount of the best advertising in the world gets you to buy another one. For the car, the advert is a much more powerful thing. It’s a fundamental plank of the Image and the Brand – that nebulous, but Oh so Important thing which can command Millions, even Billions of extra money for the Manufacturer from the buying public.

Just ask Vauxhall what they’d give for VW’s image, ask why Ford spent $1,600 million buying the Jaguar name 15 or so years ago, wonder why Cadillac are falling flat on their face trying to sell luxury saloons in this country, and then ask why Peugeot, Renault and Citroen squander hundreds of millions of pounds even bothering to try. IMAGE, my boy, IMAGE.

As I say, the advert only gets you through the door – the product has to deliver – all of which leads me to the subject of this little celebratory piece – the Volkswagen Golf.

IT HAD TO BE SILVER, DIDN'T IT?

Having waxed lyrical about the ads, I bought one. I’ve had mine for 1,915 days now (that’s almost 5¼ years) and the other day, the milometer rolled over the 100,000 mile mark. That’s an average of 52 miles per day.

CATCH THE MOMENT!

And, apart from the bulbs which give up the ghost, new brake pads, new windscreen wipers, a new camshaft belt when the service manual advised me to, and a couple of minor niggles resulting from my failed attempt to mate one of my front headlights with the very inviting rear of an old Audi, NOTHING has gone wrong with it.

It starts when it’s supposed to, stops when I want, and doesn’t stop when I don’t want. It does everything a car like that should.

It averages over 52 mpg (It’s a diesel), accelerates when required, like a little rocket, uses no oil between services, rides and handles tolerably well, and the interior fittings, which are a model of restrained modern elegance and design, scrub up, even now, like new.

Yes. I could write VW a (shortish) list of things they should improve, but none are that important. The Autocar Road testers whinge that it doesn’t handle or ride like a Ford Focus (they’re right, it doesn’t), but in the real world when most of us are not looking for the last ounce of performance, that’s totally irrelevant.

It really is a marvellous thing, and I have grown to respect, admire and occasionally love it. The way it’s going at present, it doesn’t feel as if the next 100,000 miles will hold any great traumas. And if it does have to go, you can understand that the decision about its replacement is really quite simple.

All down to a short advert where I still believe the girl binning her jewels and fur coat was Princess Di!

Tags:

,
,
,,
,

Sunday, June 10, 2007

FLOWER POWER

A simple picture of a poppy in our garden, taken against a fence. It's the feathery beauty of the poppy flower, which only lasts a couple of days, its glorious zingy pink colour, matched against the pale grey/green colour of the fence against which it has been set which caught my eye. Mother Nature (or is it now Person Nature?), aided by the Mistress of the house to create a small patch of floral perfection.


Tags:


,
,
,

LONG SHADOWS AND WARM BEER ....

"Fifty years on from now, Britain will still be the country of long shadows on county [cricket] grounds, warm beer, invincible green suburbs, dog lovers and old maids bicycling to Holy Communion through the morning mist".

The one quote you tie immediately to John Major. I’m not actually sure he was that well advised to come out with it, if what he wanted was to create a broad church of consensual nostalgia throughout the country. It probably made, all too clear, the real distance between the more down-trodden parts of say, Manchester and Birmingham, to name but two, and 10 Downing Street. But, there you go. I don’t live there – I live here.

This author’s eyes see where Major was coming from, living where I do, in a small village in rural Shropshire, where there are a lot of dog lovers, where, if the village had a pub, the beer would probably be warm and where old ladies still dutifully attend Holy Communion, sometimes on foot, sometimes on a bike, and sometimes, very, very alarmingly, in a car.

And yes, the village has a church, of Norman origin, and next to it, a lovely local Cricket ground, where every Saturday, and most Wednesday evenings, the “long shadows” fall on twenty two men, good and true, attempting to beat seven bells out of each other with a leather cricket ball and a willow bat.

Yesterday afternoon, I took the Nikon down to the ground to take a few pictures of the gentle slumber/ritual slaughter which was then in full flow. It was a beautiful evening, warm, sunny, with lovely slanting light. If you really wanted to see England at its nicest, then standing alongside me watching the proceedings would not have been a bad place to start.

THE LOCAL CRICKET GROUND


A CLOSE UP OF THE ACTION


A BEAUTIFUL COVER DRIVE, STRAIGHT OUT OF THE COACHING MANUAL, EXCEPT THAT HE MISSED THE BALL, AND 0.02 SECONDS LATER, THE BAILS WENT EVERYWHERE

THE CLUBHOUSE



THE CROWD


THIS GUY, WHO CLEARLY POSSESSED, AND HAD WATCHED, ALL KP'S TRAINING VIDEOS, WAS TERRIFIC - THIS HIT WENT STRAIGHT OUT OF THE GROUND FOR 6, INTO THE ADJOINING RAPE FIELD - LEADING TO -

YOU DON'T GET THIS AT LORDS - LOOKING FOR THE BALL. SOME PLAYERS SEEM LESS KEEN HERE THAN OTHERS!

GOT IT!

PUTTING YOUR HEART AND SOUL INTO IT

BILLY NO-MATES, AT LONG ON, WITH THE WREKIN IN THE BACKGROUND - TELL ME YOU DON'T LIKE THAT!

Tags:


,
,
,
,
,

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

A RATHER CONVENIENT BREAKDOWN

As one drives one's journey to work through the seasons, the colours and patterns of the countryside at the side of the road slowly change in a rather miraculous way. We are in the middle of one of the most enjoyable times of the year - there is a great deal of change, and everything is new, bright, zingy and colourful.

I have watched the field of poppies gradually appear over the last few days, alongside Junction 4 of the M54. Tonight, on a mission of marital mercy to Ikea, my car seemed to suffer an odd desire to slow down and stop just alongside the field, and remarkably I found that I had brought my camera along with me. I took a few pictures, four of which are reproduced below. Amazingly, whatever it was that had afflicted the car seemed to have cleared itself when I returned to it.

So, all in all, a rather magical evening - Ikea excepted of course!





Tags:

,
,
,