Friday, November 23, 2007

LATE AGENDA ITEM FOR THE QUEEN'S SPEECH

I like to think of myself as a reasonable human being. I love my family and my dogs. I have a (very) few friends whom I also love. If I had to create a list of people who actively hated me, I don’t think it would be very long. So, reasonable it is.

One thing has occurred to me today, though. I am, in no way, a great fan of Capital Punishment, but I have concluded that there is a good case for its reinstatement in one certain, specific case – for those individuals who knowingly, intentionally and consistently leave the wrappers of “After Eight” Mints in the box having devoured their contents.

The utter rage following the opening of a box, apparently filled with a raft of the slim, little envelopes, when the only thing you want at that moment, above almost everything else in life, is a simple, flat, square, almost two dimensional dark chocolate Mint, only to find that some “person” has pigged the lot, leaving hundreds of empty black packets in the box, mocking you as you rummage through them, hoping against hope that they have missed just one. But they never have.

It seems perfectly reasonable to me that someone who commits such an action deserves no mercy, and the ultimate price for someone found guilty, is the only appropriate solution.

Just in case I might be over-reacting here, I have discussed this with a couple of like minded people, who unsurprisingly, are in total agreement with me. One actually felt that the proposed punishment was not adequate, and that, in addition, a £10 fine was also needed to balance completely the enormity of the offence.

I have no idea how to get such a proposal onto the Statute Books, so am now going to ring my local Parish Councillor to start the process.
It’s about time we felt the smack of Firm Government again.

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