Sunday, April 06, 2008


So there I am watching India play South Africa at cricket. The commentators are Graham Thorpe, an Englishman, and Kepler Vessels, a South African – both great players in their prime. It’s fair to say we’re watching India get comprehensively destroyed, as they try to recover from an amazing brainstorm where they’d managed to amass 76 runs in their first innings, with South Africa declaring their own first innings closed on 494 for 7.

In the middle of the play, we see four men, an umpire and three players kneeling on the ground peering at the turf. We can’t see what they’re looking at, but it is obviously attracting their full attention.

Graham Thorpe – “What is it?”

Kepler Vessels – “It’s a pig.”

Graham Thorpe (Snorting, I was going to say, but am not going for the cheap laugh here – Cricket is serious stuff) – “It’s not a pig!”

Now we’re getting a grandstand view of the scene of the crime with a close-up of the four guys kneeling on the ground. Trust me, a pig was nowhere to be seen. I know what pigs look like.

So, the four men confer, and somebody shouts to one of the ground-staff to bring something onto the pitch. An Indian guy duly runs on with some tools, bends down, and attacks the ground, extracting something which had been holding the covers down on the previous day when it had rained.

“There you are,” says Kepler Vessels – “it was a pig, a tint pig”.

Graham Thorpe wisely said nothing.


1 comment:

Whitenoise said...

It's amazing how many variations and mutations there are in one language...