“We can’t do that, madam, you’ll have to give it to me here behind the counter, and we’ll put it in the jug of hot water and heat it up for you.”
"But, I’m quite capable of heating up a bottle for a child, I’ve brought up two children, who are still alive, and am now on my third grandchild. I think I can be trusted.”
“Sorry, madam, we’re not allowed to. It’s Health and Safety” – the answer to everything in the whole UK world today.
There then ensued a gentle rantlet from my wife, which, as always, got absolutely nowhere, apart from a significant release of steam.
She then asked for her own order which included a Pot of Tea, which was filled from the same exploding steam machine used to fill the grandson’s jug which THEY had determined we were unfit to handle, and handed it to my wife. The temperature of the tea to which she was entrusted was probably around 211ºF, having cooled down ever so slightly from the superheated state it had been in some 5 seconds previously. Even when pressed to “Compare and Contrast” the two actions and attempt some form of rational explanation, the irony of it all passed completely over the staff’s head, as very nearly did the Pot of Tea.
A couple of minutes later, the assistant came over to the table with the Grandson's Jar of Food, which they had heated to a temperature where it was now glowing Cherry Red. They now needed a Jug of Cold Water to reduce the temperature of the jar from "Searing", down through "Jeez, that's still Bloody hot" and onto "Now, that's how it needs to be". The good news is that they were allowed to be trusted unsupervised on their own with the Jug of Cold water the Assistant brought to allow this quenching process to be implemented.
“Health and Safety” apparently explains it all.
And for a minute there, I thought there was a problem.
health and safety,